Snarky Comments

Due to a snarky comment on the previous post, I feel compelled to continue my blogging endeavours.

Today we shall discuss the tv shows called "Survivor: Vanuatu" and "The Apprentice". Vanuatu is last season's survivor, and I just finished watching my downloaded episodes. I like to wait till the season is finished before downloading because then I can watch them over the course of a couple of weeks, with episodes back-to-back. That way I avoid that terrible feeling of dreading what might happen next on the show. Both Survivor and The Apprentice are good at instilling dread, though for the Apprentice it only lasts during the tasks and the judging, and is extinguished after Trump has finished lambasting the three "disappointing" or "stupid" executives. Then everything is a-ok because I don't give a fuck about the future executives of America. Those people are mostly full of shit anyway. Except Bren, the trial lawyer from Georgia (or some southern state) - he always has a Southern drawl going on and looks like he'd rather be sipping bourbon and discussing plantations. I like that. (I mean, other than the whole slavery thing.)

Survivor episodes, I get caught up in the truly petty but hubristic personalities of these people. They are like the squabbling gods of Greek lore, with all the legendary powers of instant celebrity and being on a desert island competing for a million bucks to draw out their natural characters in full fauvist bloom. And when the women's and men's teams mingled, but the editors showed us viewers clips to make it clear that the women were still a team, damn! That was scary stuff for me, as a man.

It spoke to some atavistic fears in me that women know stuff that men don't. I mean, why else do the girls laugh at me instead of replying to my "Konnichi wa"? The boys just say Konnichi wa right back at me. I have occasionally considered the possibility that all women have psychic powers, and that men were simply born without; we are necessary for the procreation of the race, we can create cool things, but we just don't quite have the same level of understanding in a conversation. Especially about alliances. Needless to say, the women were much better at playing the game than the men, and they wittled the men's numbers down at every tribal council, by convincing the remaining men to vote one of their own gender off. Because "it's good strategy to vote him off now. We'll get her next round." What fools - the men fell for it until they were a tiny minority. Interesting that the two leaders of the female coalition were lesbians. Interesting, also, that these two - young Amy and old Scout - hated each other. Scout was a cool customer. Amy was pure, vilest, blackest manipulation. God I felt good when she got the boot.

If I were a Survivor contestant I think I'd make it at least to the final 9. Maybe even final 4. The key would be to not use big words, so as not to alienate people. Clever.