Sunday, November 25, 2007

Why I Might Stop Watching TV (Soon, Really Soon)

Lastly, I suggest a lesson in television from the geniusly perverted minds of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 gang. The main reason MST3K is such useful cultural commentary, is because it lays bare the mountainous icebergs of propaganda present in popular culture, exposing the withered fingers of control that television stabs into our unwashed masses. It is always easier to see the propaganda of a previous generation, because we live within its consequences. Wading the eight seasons of MST3K has learned me the true tales of the crushing white patriarchy, the endless anti-communist fear mongering drivel, and the pervasively stifling influence of despicable Christianity and its consumerist armies.

from Brain Box
ah, too true. Read the article - it's good.



Thursday, November 22, 2007

My Job Is To…

stolen from http://www.livinginmyownworld.com/
  1. Read things that don’t matter, then write papers saying they do matter, for points that don’t matter, in order to get a job doing something totally unrelated: Student
  2. Take numbers on pieces of paper, rearrange them and put them on different pieces of paper: Tax Accountant
  3. Explain big words to sales people and then cower before customers while trying to convince them that the sales people really didn’t say what the customers understood: Customer Solutions Engineer
  4. Learn laws created ages ago so that I can tell engineers why I’m smarter than they are while complaining how it’s a travesty that they get paid more: Physics major
  5. Show you innovative ways to burn money in the spirit of patriotism: Fireworks Stand Manager
  6. Help people lie consistently to their bosses: Business Intelligence Consultant
  7. Teach your kids enough to complain but not enough to make a difference: College Teacher
  8. Stand on a field and get yelled at for hours: Baseball Umpire
  9. Make people who are already filthy rich somewhat richer by duping poor people into buying stuff they don’t need: Corporate Software Engineer
  10. Find as many synonyms for “explosion” as possible: Novelist for Teenage Boys
  11. Supervise the guys and gals who try to protect the good people from the bad, only to be hated by the good people AND the bad: Police Sergeant
  12. Watch the lunatics take over the asylum: Teacher
  13. Manage waste recycling, promotion & sales: Antiques Dealer
  14. Arrive after the battle and bayonet all the wounded: Auditor
  15. Sell gas: Energy and Telecom Business Analyst
  16. Tell forty year-old men it’s okay to behave like fourteen year-old school girls: Printing Press Production Coordinator
  17. Make corporate propaganda feel like folksy truthisms: Tv Ad Director
  18. Shepherd clients through the process of setting their products on fire: Consumer Products Tester
  19. Manage urban renewal and pest control: B-52 Bomber pilot
  20. Persuade kids that it’s really fun being wet, cold and scared out of their minds: Sailing Instructor
  21. Draw up plans for something that will not be built according to those plans: Civil Engineer, Transportation Design
  22. Teach kids to be evil…or so they say: Video Game Creator
  23. Ensure that stupid people stay in the gene pool: Lifeguard
  24. Do all the tasks nobody else wants to do: Admin Assistant
  25. Wear a tuxedo and smash metal plates into each other: Musician
  26. Go to strange people’s houses and take their money: Pizza Delivery Boy
  27. Sell gluttony: Cinema Concession Stand Attendant
  28. Tell people that they can’t spend money they thought they had: Government Analyst
  29. Take pictures of the unlucky and the stupid: X-ray Technician
  30. Profit from the misfortunes of others: Cops and Courts Reporter
  31. Take a simple two-way promise and turn it into several complicated one-way promises which neither side can understand or hope to fulfill: Lawyer
  32. Bring a little rain into the lives of flood victims: Government Debt Collector
  33. Have people spend far more than they estimated: Building Inspector
  34. Make sure nothing ever happens: IT Security
  35. Move things from one tube to another: Microbiologist
  36. Clean up an animal that makes more money then me in a year: Assistant Horse Trainer
  37. Make people feel bad about their work: Quality Assurance Tester
  38. Be a human napkin: Stay-at-home mom of three
  39. Make food that is as healthy before it goes in your body as when it comes back out: Fast Food Employee
  40. Repeatedly fix what you repeatedly break: IT Director